I clutched the rusty railing underneath the window as we drove in a white van on the bumpy Bolivian roads. I could feel my tears slowly fall and my heart swell as we passed a new road on which missionaries have never set foot. I saw beautiful trees and landscapes that have never been photographed. I saw people who had never been contacted and bamboo houses that had never been knocked.
On our Monday excursion to a waterfall out of Bermejo as a district, something opened my eyes to an even greater need for missionaries: we heard families speaking languages I had never heard before. My curiosity got the best of me and to the surprise and horror of my companions, I walked up to the foreign tribe to ask where they were from. They were from the Toba tribe from the jungle pueblos of Bolivia. I had never heard their language, nor seen a people like them. My time as a full-time missionary in Bolivia would not allow me to teach them and for a split second, I felt it unfair to leave so many people without the gospel. Then, as if angels could hear my thoughts, a feeling of peace swept over me.
In that old white van, my mind reflected over the past 18 months of my life; how I have changed, grown, improved. I reflected on how the people, my people, have blessed and changed me, how I have learned to share the gospel in a more effective and powerful way. I am changed, I am blessed, and I am, oh, so happy!
A final event happened this week that marked the ending of this chapter of my life. We knocked on a less-active´s door whose less-active husband refuses to receive missionary visits. She hesitantly let us in saying her husband was in a hurry to leave. He was not excited to see us. I paid no attention to him and immediately walked over to the pictures on the wall. He had done well in his business, and their family had been blessed with much wealth. I began to ask questions about his daughters and he, Aniseto is his name, reluctantly walked over to answer. He told us the names of his daughters and one caught my attention as it was the name of a character in one of my favorite classic novels, Dostoevsky’s ´The Brothers Karamazov.´ I asked why he chose a Russian name, being Bolivian, and he mentioned the classic, and we began a two-minute discussion on the book, as well as the author’s book, Crime and Punishment. With that, his hard heart had softened, and we were able to teach a powerful lesson on repentance. I remembered how my still-quite-limited education had permitted us to enter into homes of several people who had never accepted the gospel before. I could feel a pull toward refinement and more education. For the first time in many many months, I felt the urge to pick up books I had never read. I realized that to get to the hearts of more people, I have to fill my mind and my heart with MORE education, more knowledge, and wisdom, more languages, more love, more experience, more testimony.
As my first full-time mission is ending, I realized that another is just beginning. The more I learn, the more I can help and bless others. In several years from now, hundreds of books from now, many experiences and trials and blessings from now, I will be again serving another full-time mission. But in the meantime, I will keep learning to be a better disciple of Christ.
One last thing I want to mention, though very few words have been exchanged between my dear sister Erica and me, and though we are far apart, I feel we have grown closer together than I could have ever imagined. We may be in completely different missions and cultures, but we serve the same God and read the same books. For the past year and a half, we have taught with the same Spirit and been protected by the same Power. I followed her great example to be a missionary and will be forever changed by it. I couldn’t be happier and more grateful for a little sister who has made a difference in my life by choosing to be a missionary and a great leader. ¡Gracias Erica, me siento tan bendecida que eres mi Hermana¡
Sister Greenman
Editor’s Note: This is Elissa’s mom and I felt I must respond to this beautiful final letter home, which brought tears to my eyes. I have mixed feelings of joy and sadness. Joy because of the great work Heavenly Father has been able to do through Elissa and because of the joy Elissa feels because of her service to our Heavenly Father. Sadness because of having to leave this chapter of her life and all the beautiful people she has met and loved for so long, without knowing if she will return or not. Many other reasons invoke both sadness and joy in my heart, but the most joyful of them all is that Elissa has chosen to serve the Lord and has let Him change her heart through His saving Atonement.
President Spencer W. Kimball spoke of the most important word, which is “Remember” and may I add that by remembering our Savior, our covenants with Him, and all those things we know are right to do, there is still one important word remaining, which is “Change.” We must remember and then change. Elissa has taught me once again by her beautiful example of remembering and changing. Thank you my dear daughter!
Her letter this week has brought to mind some of my favorite quotes about change:
C.S. Lewis wrote in Prince Caspian, “Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different…”
“True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.”
–Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, May 2004, 79
“Those who have felt the touch of the Master’s hand somehow cannot explain the change which comes into their lives. There is a desire to live better, to serve faithfully, to walk humbly, and to be more like the Savior. Having received their spiritual eyesight and glimpsed the promises of eternity, they echo the words of the blind man to whom Jesus restored sight: ‘One thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see'(John 9:25).”
–President Thomas S. Monson, “Anxiously Engaged,” Ensign, Nov. 2004, 58
“Simply stated, testimony–real testimony, born of the Spirit and confirmed by the Holy Ghost–changes lives. It changes how you think and what you do. It changes what you say. It affects every priority you set and every choice you make.”
–Elder M. Russell Ballard, “Pure Testimony”, Ensign, Nov. 2004, 40
“Service changes people. It refines, purifies, gives a finer perspective, and brings out the best in each one of us. It gets us looking outward instead of inward. Righteous service is the expression of true charity, such as the Savior showed.”
–Derek A. Cuthbert, “The Spirituality of Service”, Ensign, May 1990, 12
P.S. One more little thing I want to share and I don’t know if Elissa remembers saying this, but when she was contemplating a mission, she mentioned a great desire to teach people who were educated and who knew about the Great Ideas (I think her words were a little different, but the essence is there). I could not help but feel a great swelling in my heart of gratitude to God for letting Elissa have this last experience with a man who knew Dostoevsky and who, loving the story, named a daughter after one of the characters in The Brother’s Karamazov. How beautiful our Heavenly Father is to know Elissa’s heart and grant a small miracle. It is a testimony to me that the Lord loves us and loves our hearts and wants us to develop our talents so that he may magnify us and bless us.
With Earnest Endeaver 